Remote coffee

Posted on by snoffeecob


No snark from MCS today, because small businesses could use our help. Seriously, though. Many of us have to be at home a lot right now, and many of us have seen our favourite hospitality businesses, or even our own, severly impacted. We at MCS probably rate this whole situation about zero out of five cups.

But there is some hope. Read on for our weekly coffee-by-snail-mail picks.

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Exciting news

Posted on by snoffeecob


We at Melbourne Coffee Sucks have been quiet for a while, but it has not been in vain. We have been busily negotiating the details of a very exciting deal.

We’re thrilled to finally be able to announce that as of the start of the new financial quarter tomorrow, we’ll finally be joining the Vice Media family!

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The Outback

Posted on by snoffeecob

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How coffee works in the Outback

When heading off on a trip into the Big Australian Outback, I feared the worst. In terms of snakes and exposure, but also in terms of the quality of the coffee that would be available. As a precaution, I had already brought along the fanciest jar of instant coffee I could lay my hands on (spoiler: it was terrible), because I had oftentimes been warned that one of the primary reasons for folks not surviving their solo travels in the outback was being caught out at midday in the blazing sun with a flat tyre and no coffee. This is why Jack Absalom has a video on how to make a cuppa coffee with nothing more than bulldust and soap.

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Three Williams Café, Redfern

Posted on by snoffeecob

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It has been quiet for a while here on MCS, but not without reason. Your intrepid and dedicated coffee critics have been on a round-the-world tasting journey, involving daredevil dogs, VHS tapes, boats, and rides on the backs of trucks.

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Proud Mary Café, Collingwood

Posted on by snoffeecob

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This is a café I’ve felt I should try out for a long time. The name Proud Mary seems to be well-known around these parts, and it always seems to be brimming with people. Normally that’s a good sign when it comes to such establishments. The patrons are fancy, young, and extremely shiny. I wonder what it’s like!

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International Roast tasting notes

Posted on by Instant Correspondent

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This is your instant correspondent with a report on international coffee drinking trends. It’s not clear exactly which nation International Roast comes from, but with a name like that I’m sure it’s very cosmopolitan.

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Briki, Thornbury

Posted on by snoffeecob

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Well, this was an interesting one. Where to start?

“Briki” is a relatively recently re-opened café near Thornbury Station, at the old location of The Brickie & The Barista. I’ve often cycled past it, and it’s quite conveniently located on my way to work, so I felt I really had to try it some time. Also, while I’d never been to the predecessor Brickie & Barista, I had been told it was very good.

Fair warning: if you don’t like rants, you won’t like this one.

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Homestead House, Omeo

Posted on by snoffeecob

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A week or so ago we were driving around in country Victoria, trying to escape the cubicle farm rat race that has become our destiny. On our way we stayed in a charming little town called Omeo, that had a bit of a ski-holiday-town-without-skiers feel to it.

The hotel we stayed at, the Golden Age Motel no less, had instant coffee and water, presumably for the horses. They’d evidently forgotten about the human guests. So, the tone had clearly been set.

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We should all be drinking International Roast

Posted on by Flat White


Millennials are spending too much money on coffee. It’s proven that this is the reason why they’re locked out of the housing market – young people are frittering away the wages benevolently bestowed by their employers on frivolous and unnecessary caffeinated drinks.

The solution: International Roast. This smooth, mild-tasting, coffee-based beverage was once a stalwart of kitchens and office tea rooms the country over. Is it just a coincidence that as the proportion of Australians under 35 owning their own homes has crashed to record-low levels, so too has the popularity of this humble and budget-conscious drink? For the price of three fancy espressos from your local bearded barista, you could instead buy a half-kilo tin of International Roast containing 333 frugal serves. Your coffee dollar goes 100 times further, and that house deposit will save itself in no time.

Patricia Coffee Brewers

Posted on by snoffeecob

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Today I finally received my copy of the Drift magazine, volume 5 (the site seemed unreachable at the time of writing this post, so here’s an Archive.org link). This edition covered Melbourne, so naturally, I had to have it.

By the authors’ own description, “Drift is a print magazine devoted to coffee culture. Each issue takes us to a different city across the globe, as our writers and photographers dive into what makes a city’s coffee scene tick.” It’s a super glossy and hip magazine apparently aimed at design students, but I found the articles to be surprisingly down to earth. Don’t judge a coffee magazine by its typography, I guess. Go buy it.

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